i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
