as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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