can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
