If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
