it was like his penis was on wheels.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
