tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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