i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
