dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
