My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
