I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
