dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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