I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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