So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
