Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
