just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
