If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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