It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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