is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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