we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
