It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
