i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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