You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
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he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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