You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
