We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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