By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
