Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
