I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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