super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.