he shaved USA in his pubs
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.