there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
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So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
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He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium