I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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