my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
