At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
