The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
