this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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