I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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