I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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