Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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