I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
