never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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