Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
