I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Too much gin, very little bucket
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
