Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
