Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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