I think my vagina is haunted
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Holy sore nipples Batman
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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