You smell like stripper and shame
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize