It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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