During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
