Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
