walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I am available for nakedness
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
