Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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