Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
