Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm drive I can fine osifer
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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