Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
