Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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