So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize