my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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